Summary: A plate of boy!touching, as per a bunch of people’s request with a small side order of Nicky!angst.
A/N: Okay, I gave you smut!
“Now’s the time when I tell you I’ve never done this before, right?” I look up at him after our lips separate, kind-of-but-not-really expecting the shocked look on his face. Damn! Why did I have to go and open my mouth again? He’s already reacted much better than I thought he would to any of this, and now I go and ruin it.
I can sense his newfound hesitation as he slowly brings his hand up to my face, and with a slight start, I realize that sometime during that incredibly long kiss, he ended up on top of me, straddling my hips. It’s surprisingly not as uncomfortable as it should be.
“I’ve never done this before, you know, with another guy.”
“So what is this for you? Something casual? Experimentation, maybe? A spur of the moment thing?”
I’m surprised to hear that that is something akin to fear in his voice, and I hate knowing I did that to him even if I don’t rightly understand why he’s so nervous. I can’t lie, though. I guess whenever I kissed him I did it knowing that I wouldn’t be able to deny anything later. And I can’t. I can’t deny any of this; it’s too real to me now.
“No, it’s not just experimentation or whatever. This… this is what I want. With you,” I manage to get out as he unconsciously strokes my arm. It’s really hard to think with him touching me.
“I want this too,” the relief in his voice is palpable, and suddenly, I wonder how I missed it all these years, how I never saw that he would have accepted this without hesitation. I can’t help but wonder what I would have done if I’d have known. Probably would have turned tail and run the other way, and even now, I can’t help but wonder why I haven’t run yet.
Being here with him, though, for some reason... it feels right; it really does, and maybe that's why I kiss him again, this time deepening the kiss before he has time to realize what's happening. Somehow I know that there must be something really wrong with me; I don’t think I’ve ever tried to crawl into someone’s skin through their mouth before. Running my tongue over his palette, I duel with his mouth, just daring him to pull away. When he doesn’t, I relax and bring my hands up hesitatingly to his back, lightly ghosting them over his shirt until I become more comfortable; then, I slowly apply more pressure, letting my hands roam over him.
Suddenly, he pulls back slightly, a light flush tinting his cheeks. When I go to pull him back down, he stops me, both with his words and with his hands.
“Nicky, if you do that again, I’m not going to be able to stop myself.” His grin is endearing, if not a little smutty.
“So don’t stop,” I say firmly before arching upwards as one of his hands worms its way into my shirt, coming to gently roll a nipple between two of the digits. I want this; I need this, and sadly enough, I know that if I don’t do this now, I’ll never get the courage. If… well, maybe if I can get past this first time, I can handle it. Maybe I’ll be okay with this. Certainly, I don’t ever want to- I mean, god, I can’t believe I seriously considered… So stupid, Stokes! I don’t know what I would have done if I’d actually hurt him. I still can’t fathom that I would have done anything like that in the heat of the moment.
He kisses me again, seeming to understand that my thoughts are attempting to overtake me once more, leaning forward all the way so that he’s nearly lying on top of me, and I can feel his hardness against my leg. It’s strangely exciting. It’s only when he pulls away again that I realize he’s undone my shirt and is trying to remove it. Then, his mouth moves back down, this time moving down my jawline to the juncture of my neck and collarbones, sucking gently on the hollow there.
I can only shudder when his hand moves back down to stroke me through the fabric of my pants; coupled with the altogether ethereal sensation of being with him in his bed and having one of my fantasies fulfilled, it’s almost enough to drive me crazy with want. I gasp, arching once again as his mouth finds its way to my chest, the hot tongue glancing over my already heated flesh.
In a somewhat desperate manner, I bring my hands to his sides, clawing at his shirt, trying to remove the obstructing fabric so that I can finally feel him, skin to skin, the way that I want to. He’s going to think I’m just… No, it’s fine. He as much as said that I could.
He only laughs as he brings his hands upwards to take the crazy pajama top off before once more descending. I don’t understand how he can be so calm about this; certainly, I’m not. I’m more turned on than I can ever remember being in my life, and all he can do is laugh.
“Relax, we can take this as slow as you want.”
I know he’s just saying that to calm me down, for I can see the wanting look creep into his eyes as I take advantage of his stillness and try my damnedest to get his pants off of him as well. He wants this as badly as I do, which is hard for me to really accept. I mean, he shouldn’t want me. There are so many reasons why I’m wrong for him and why he should be with someone who can treat him better… yet all of that is swept away when I finally succeed in pulling down his pajama bottoms and boxers. He moves to where he’s kneeling, my thighs trapped under him and between his legs.
Emboldened by the look in his eyes, I squash all the residual nervousness that I’m still feeling and use my hands to explore his body, starting with his chest. I try to memorize all of the spots that seem to make his breathing hitch, but then I realize it doesn’t matter. Somehow, I get the feeling that I’ll have many chances to learn stuff like that. Finally, I take his cock in hand, nearly jumping as I feel his pulse. He’s hot and hard, his cock twitching as I hold it, but as erotic as that is, it’s nothing compared to the way he moans when I move my hand up and down experimentally.
His reaction assures me that I must be doing something right, and why mess with a good thing? Slowly, I begin to pull and twist on his hard length, my hand falling into a rhythm that I’ve used many times before on myself, my heart beating just a little faster every time he moans my name. Unconsciously, I begin to grind my hips upwards, the shock of my bare flesh against his making me shudder once more. My pattern falters a few times, most notably when he begins thrusting upwards, but I recover quickly. I can’t believe that I’m able to do this to him, when only yesterday I thought that he’d probably try to punch my lights out if he even knew I had considered a relationship with him.
He tries to warn me before he comes, but I don’t listen, still marveling in the way I can feel his pulse speeding up in time with my own, and suddenly, he stills, throwing his head back. He groans harshly and spasms above me a few times before he shoots onto my chest. In the back of my mind, I wonder why I hadn’t thought that he actually would come, but then I push that away as I hear him softly whisper my name one last time.
In what seems to be seconds, he reaches over and grabs something that he uses to wipe off my chest for the most part, tosses it back onto the nightstand, and moves to where he’s eye-level with my cock. I take a deep breath, my nervousness only now rushing back full force.
What the hell are you doing, Stokes?
He washes my doubts away again as he begins to slowly tongue a pattern up and down my cock; surprisingly, I find that my thoughts are gone along with my misgivings. A moan escapes my bitten lip even as I try to suppress it. Now I think I’m starting to understand what was missing with all of those nameless, faceless women. This is right; this is so much better than it’s ever been before, and I know that it’s because it’s Greg who’s trying his hardest bring me off in record time. And when his hand moves to take my balls and caress them, I arch upwards, wanting and needing more. He chuckles low in his throat, knowing what he’s doing to me, and slowly, maddeningly licks the ridge of my cock before using his tongue to delve into the slit. I start to shake with lust as I see his pull back and notice the pearly liquid on the tip of his tongue.
It’s only a few minutes before he takes my cock into his mouth. A few minutes of blinding, white-hot torture, I might add. Finally, he stops the teasing and begins to move steadily up and down, his head bobbing ceaselessly as he quickly finishes me off. I can feel the hard suction, feel the slight graze of teeth against my length as he moves, and it’s nearly enough to set me off. I look downwards; his deep eyes meet mine and I groan loudly, pushing upwards against the hands that are holding my hips down.
In mere minutes, I’m screaming my release, screaming his name with all I have, trying to ignore the part of my mind that’s still saying that he’s going to think that I’m some hopeless loser who had the tripe to fall for his coworker.
Somehow, I don’t think I’m ever going to get over that, I think as the post-orgasm haze descends on me. At least, not easily.
But that doesn’t matter now because he’s curled up against me, his head on my chest, and suddenly, blindingly, I know that this is as real for him as it is for me.
Thank God for sleep deprivation; that’s the last thought I have before I fall asleep again.